Please help me to see
Help me to feel your pain
Help me to understand why it must be
That you and I are gathered here
Moms Dads Brothers Sisters Uncles Aunts and Friends
Great distances some of you have walked
From each community because you care
Along that highway tears came easy
Sharing stories and memories of those you love
Sometimes you laughed then you cried
For loved ones - some taken so brutally
You’ve come to say we hurt so much
You’ve come in anger fear and hope
Deep inside I cry for each of you
Highway of Tears we call it now
As you’ve shared your many stories
I cried and felt your pain
I wished I could fix it all
And send you home in peace
For your Children we’ve come
For most of you long over due
Please speak for her I heard one say
She has no one else – no family
One thing I ask of you today
Though anger may be what you feel
To speak gently so all can hear
All of us are here today because we care
t.r.
Most of
the following poems were written during my 17 years doing volunteer
work with the RCMP in Prince George. All of them are based on true
stories and some may be difficult to read.
New Birth – New
beginning
I have an Avery with about 10 Canaries who wake us every
morning with beautiful song.
Recently a baby chick was born. It was at a time that I was
going through a difficult time and continually saw and felt
the pain all around me of those who hurt so bad. It was
shortly after that there was that urging of new beginnings,
a new focus in my life. Not because I asked for it, but
somewhat forced up on me by a God who cares so
much for me.
When I look at this baby chick
And my God who created her
Once protected by its shell
Used all its strength to be free
A new birth a new beginning
To face a world of uncertainty
Cuddled underneath her mother’s wings
She keeps her warm feeds her daily
My world too has a new beginning
Not because I wanted to
It’s God who direct and walks before us
I do not always follow as He directs
Then at times through pain he reminds me
Picks me up and sets me free
Free from thinking I can do it all
I hear him say
Listen to those who love you
Another road I have prepared for you
Please spend time to talk to me
Above all listen to my voice
God - The voices of your children cry out
In the shadows of the street pacing waiting
Memories of earlier life are haunting
Too painful to dwell on long
Who am I - once I knew love
So long ago it seems
Today I am used by those who seek pleasure
Just my body, my mind is not there
My mind wanders, Mom Dad are you there
To earlier days
Who will rescue me
Please don’t let me die
I do not speak
They say it is too late for them
I allow this to take place
I don’t want to hear
Deep down I hear their cries
Forgive me
The pain is deep
Too late
Please don’t let me die
t.r
The
weight I carry everyday
Does not belong to me
I see their faces, I feel their pain
Your children broken and alone
Its love they want but cannot find
Struggling Mom’s often so alone
You have heard their cries
Every day I want to fix it all
I cannot stand the pain
Then I hear your voice
My child why worry so
Release it all to me
I am Jesus
On the cross I paid it all
Surrender every care to me
Take a rest you can’t fix it all
That’s up to me
Do I hear you right
I don’t need to carry all this stuff
Yes, you must do and love those
Who have no one else
But you don’t need to do it all alone
At days end give it all to me
I will calm your spirit and your mind
Because you belong to me
There will be pain and hurt
I have not come to fix my world
I am the healer of the soul
I have come to love and save
Tell them I love them so
Thank you Jesus you have not forgotten
Any of your children
Now use me Lord
Give me love to give away
Then I give it all to you
t.r.
I write this finding my self
hurting, crying out to God for answers for a number of close
friends who are struggling and/or face serious illness. I cry
for those throw-away kids on the streets some of whom are used
in prostitution. I cry for those who are abused and feel so
alone. A close friend of mine when I asked her what her heart
desires were, in part said it this way - "I
want to be able to look into the eyes of a lady who has been
beaten and tell her that she will be alright and have the
ability to put her in a place that she will feel safe and learn
to love God" cont. below........
I can’t find you God
Where are you
Everywhere I look
Nowhere to be found
I know you live in my heart
But that is so impersonal
Where are you really
I need to feel your presence
To touch you to make sure you’re real
Sickness strikes unexpectedly
I sense the hurt and pain
In the hearts of Moms and Dads and Children too
Many so alone
There are children on the streets
The empty hollow stares
No one to love them
Used
They try to forget what once was
I feel their pain
I try to forget
So busy no where to rest
Is there a safe place somewhere
So busy with what
They need you so I pray
You do not answer
Their faces show hopelessness
Their hurt is so deep
A safe place full of love
You are love
Jesus
Please don’t forget them
Allow yourself to be found
My life means nothing without your love
A safe place I need to meet you
Away from work, home and the streets
Where can I find you so I feel safe
A place to kneel and cry
Pour out my pain
Your face I want to see
Please don’t forget me I hurt so bad
All I want is to love
Maybe someone who will love me a little too
I need to feel your touch so bad
Will it ever end tomorrow maybe
I shut my eyes but cannot sleep
Please help me through the night
Startled I awake
Nothing has changed
No safe place
I cry
Where will I go today
Please dear someone take my hand
My Child I know you’re hurt
Your pain is Mine
I placed your heart on the paths of many
They have not heard your cry
Forgive them they know not what they do
They pray but do not do
I call they do not hear
One day I will come and ask them why
I too am guilty dear God
Forgive me and teach me once again
A safe place they need with you and me
A place to kneel and cry and tell you that we hurt
t.r.
Another good
friend knowing of my struggles lent me a book by Dr. Larry Crabb,
titled "Finding God". Larry has a personal note which I would
like to quote;
Let me tell you
why I wrote this book. I have come to a place in my life where I
need to know God better or I won't make it. Life at times has a
way of throwing me into such blinding confusion and severe pain
that I lose all hope. Joy is gone. Nothing encourages me.
Perhaps the most
important lesson I learn as I go through dark seasons is this;
there is no escape in this life from pain and problems. I
can live obediently, practice spiritual disciplines , and claim
my identity in Christ, but problems still continue.
More than anything
else, I need a person to trust, someone who can give me hope,
joy and peace in the midst of lie's unpredictable struggles. A
plan to follow is not good enough. Applying biblical
principles does not always make things happen as I want. Without
someone to trust, I must either pretend things are better then
they are or live to relieve the pain. And if neither denial nor
efforts to relieve pain do the job, I will end my life through
immorality or craziness or suicide.
The rhetoric we're
all used to - "just trust the Lord, pray more, get counseling,
follow God's plan more carefully" - must give way to the reality
of finding God.
I wrote this book
in response to the desperate cry of my heart to know God better.
More than ever before, I am convinced that God yearns to be
known by us far more than we want to know Him, and his great
work in us to increase our passion for knowing him until it is
stronger than all other passions. Developing that passion in our
hearts is a long difficult process to which God is relentlessly
committed. The way is hard, the road less traveled than others,
but the journey is worth it.
God is
immeasurable good, and He can be trusted.
Now I have to
learn to put this into practice.
t.r.
The week before Christmas 2005 there was a lot of hurt and
stress in our community.
I wrote this in response.
An Angel I will send
When I cry
In pain and the hurt won’t let go
The past I live and cannot leave
I want to be free
Please someone hold me tight
The demons come and go
Why must I live like this
Is there a way out of this spinning hole
Those memories please set me free
I long for something more than this
A hug but who will give
Oh to feel once again
Something called love
Is that what I really want
To feel warmth a tender touch
Is that what love is all about
Is there a God who cares
Does he feel my pain
Once I thought I knew
Jesus loves me this I know
Who are you
Does he really love me so
I hurt so bad
My tears a misty haze
Once I heard
About a mother’s tender love
I thought I heard her voice
Did once you cuddle me
Jesus can you hug me
I want so bad to feel your touch
Don’t leave me too
I long to hear your tender voice
No one hears my cries but you
Please hold my hand and never let me go
I cannot stand if you leave me too
My child you are special
You belong to me
If no one else but I hear your cry
Deep in my heart I feel your pain
Once I was a child like you
Rejection I know that too
Please give it all to me
An Angel I have placed on your path
Someone to hold your hand
To dry your tears and help you heal
I will touch the very depth of you
You will be free because I paid it all
You have no debt to me
My love is what I give
So please my child I give it free
Thank you Jesus you have not forgotten
Please dry my tears
I give myself to you
That Angel do not forget
I can not do it on my own
Be still my child and Angel is on its way
